Taystee & Poussey: Realest Muthafuckin’ Friendship Begins

causeallidoisdance:

piecesofamoonchyld:

Recently Kaige told us he wishes he could be both a boy and a girl because he likes playing princesses as much as ninjas and he doesn’t want to get made fun of. So we bought him a tutu and gave him a makeover. Meet the new and improved Kaige. If you have a problem with it please keep it to yourself and kindly stay out of his life. Which would be a shame because as you can see he’s freakin’ awesome! #letmebeme #mumblr #stopbullying

WHAT A FUCKING RAD KID WITH RAD HAIR

causeallidoisdance:

piecesofamoonchyld:

Recently Kaige told us he wishes he could be both a boy and a girl because he likes playing princesses as much as ninjas and he doesn’t want to get made fun of. So we bought him a tutu and gave him a makeover. Meet the new and improved Kaige. If you have a problem with it please keep it to yourself and kindly stay out of his life. Which would be a shame because as you can see he’s freakin’ awesome! #letmebeme #mumblr #stopbullying

WHAT A FUCKING RAD KID WITH RAD HAIR

theseluckystars:

mysharona1987:

Some of the funniest book dedications ever.

New threat to anyone who’s being mean: “I’ll call you an assh*le on the dedication page of my next book.”

iamtonysexual:

horus-zahak:

biggggblack:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS


rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.


i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.

This post is my life force

note to self: make an audio post of this

iamtonysexual:

horus-zahak:

biggggblack:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

image

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

image

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

image

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

image

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.

This post is my life force

note to self: make an audio post of this

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

jazzfort:

i shouldn’t have laughed as much as i did

nyoom

uhuraspacequeen:

It’s been rainy and cold today and ahhh I’ve loved it wow

satanicmingledotcum:

thewalkingdelrey:

i will always find a way out

ohmygod

fobbishtwit:

no-glasses-eridan:

halloowada:

see

total drama gets it

That’s because it’s Canadian

We do it right.

hiddlestung:

justjaybaby:

the-goddamazon:

My mouth just went dry because I heard his voice in my head.

angelica-aswald!

#my pussy is beatboxing right now!

Important tag is important…

ultrafacts:

cassieandra8291:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts 

every time I feel like I’m being immature about something, I’ll just remember this

Imagine being one of the accountants or managers :D

ultrafacts:

cassieandra8291:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts

every time I feel like I’m being immature about something, I’ll just remember this

Imagine being one of the accountants or managers :D

poyzn:

Quick and simple lifehacks.

xlarrystylinson:

Brazil vs. Germany on twitter

thecutestofthecute:

Australian Cattle Dog/Blue Heeler Appreciation Post

abearcalledluigi:

sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.


The only guy who killed more people in his books than god did in the bible is George R R Martin

abearcalledluigi:

sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.

The only guy who killed more people in his books than god did in the bible is George R R Martin